U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
