i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i think i just lost a toe
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
