Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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