i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
