PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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