watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
