Nicole vs. Life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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