ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
