when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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