My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
