I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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