if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
