Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
