You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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