If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
