the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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