how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
