I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
