Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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