dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
