Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
