just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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