Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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