Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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