so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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