we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
