So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
