omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
