I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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