I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
