So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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