she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
