im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
