So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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