oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
