u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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