We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
