STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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