maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
True strength comes from lack of pants
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
