We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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