i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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