AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My pussy is not your playground.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
