the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
