I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
