dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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