He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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