Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
