Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
