We won't sleep together?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
