i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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