there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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