Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I understand Curling. That high.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
